Hello Auntie,
I hope you are well. I am a 16-year-old girl and I read your column every Sunday. Both my parents are civil servants and my mother is at a higher rank than my father. That is why my father has an inferiority complex and he often fights with her.

I am in my final year of my O-Levels and I am unable to study properly due to the tense environment of my house. I am often bullied by my classfellows when I am lost in my thoughts and stressed out.

My parents want me to become a doctor, but I have zero interest in pursuing a medical degree. I sometimes have suicidal thoughts.
Drowning in Pressure

‘My Toxic Home Environment Is Stressing Me Out’

Dear Drowning in Pressure, 
I am sorry you’re going through such a difficult time.

You need to know that you matter. It’s very difficult to carry the burden of conflict in the house, academic pressure and bullying at such a young age. What you are feeling is valid and no one your age should have to go through so much emotional distress without support.

It’s important that you talk to a mental health professional as soon as possible. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, you should not face them alone. Please reach out to a professional therapist — it’s also possible that your school has mental health support.

If your school doesn’t, talk to your mother about seeking professional help. And if that’s not possible, you could perhaps speak to a relative, teacher or even just your mother — whoever you feel safe speaking to. Your well-being must be the priority right now. You can also look into online therapy platforms or helplines that offer support to young people going through emotional difficulties. Just talking to someone trained to listen can often lighten the load you are carrying.

Also, remember that your parents’ conflict is not your fault. Your father’s insecurity and their arguments are issues they must resolve themselves. You are a child and shouldn’t have to carry the emotional burden of this. It’s not your job to fix things between them.

In the meantime, try to create small moments of calm for yourself — perhaps through journalling, listening to music or going for a walk. Even short breaks that bring you peace can go a long way in helping you cope. Be kind to yourself and allow space for rest, especially when things feel overwhelming.

As for your future, medicine is a noble field, but it is certainly not for everyone. If your heart is not in it, forcing yourself will only make you unhappy. It’s okay to want something different from what your parents envision. Try to have an open, calm conversation with them about your interests. If that’s not possible now, focus on doing your best in your O-Levels and keep exploring what excites you. Careers can take many forms and there is no one path to success.

As for the bullies... they can literally smell a person’s vulnerability. You should absolutely report the bullying to a teacher or counsellor at school. No one deserves to be ridiculed for being in pain.

You are valuable and your existence matters. Even when things feel unbearable, know that there is help and there is hope. You will get through this.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: [email protected]

Published in Dawn, EOS, May 4th, 2025